As society becomes more and more global, the role of the handshake also becomes more and more confusing. Even though most cultures would agree that a handshake is the most universal greeting in a business setting, each individual culture has it’s local customs and it’s own interpretation of the ultimate handshake. Because of this it is important to take the time learn about the one thing that is agreed upon internationally, that the handshake is appropriate in any business setting upon and before leaving.
Tag Archives: manners
Make the Most of Your Handshake
I have written about handshakes in past blog posts. However, occasionally clients ask me questions about how to make the most of your handshake. Next time you shake hands consider the following:
- When shaking hands in western society the hands should be parallel and hands should be clasped web to web. This isn’t the case with all cultures, so it is important to be understanding.
- If you have small hands and want to make your hand seem more substantial when shaking hands, separate your index and middle fingers slightly with extending your hand for a handshake.
- If you wear rings on your right hand when shaking hands, you may hurt the other person if you clasp their hand too tightly. This is the same when shaking hands with someone wearing a ring.
- When seated, always stand to shake hands. This will bring both parties closer to the same level and both will feel more comfortable.
Dining Traditions vs. Casual Lifestyle
Although dining etiquette and many dining traditions may not seem crucial while eating in front of the TV, our table conduct is still considered important during social, business and formal occasions. Whether we like it or not, how we conduct ourselves at the dining table can and will likely influence others’ perception of us, impacting our business and social relationships. It is considered a sign of respect and can build or break down rapport… So why take chances? For more on dining get your copy of Formal Dining for Informal People.
How to Be the Perfect Dinner Party Guest!
As an image and etiquette consultant, I am often asked to do corporate and group workshops, on the topics of dining etiquette and table manners.
A long time ago etiquette and table manners were established as a way of keeping the peace and domesticating our behaviour. Over time, these rituals were handed down from generation to generation eventually becoming tradition.
However, as the guest, the most important way to conduct yourself at the dining table is not always the way it is described in the etiquette books. And in most cases, manners and politeness will always override the rules. When in doubt, ‘show respect to your host’ and ‘follow their lead’. With this in mind, you will be the perfect dinner party guest.
6 Top Dining Don’ts
The Christmas Holiday season is also the festive season that will likely lead to opportunities for dining with others. That is unless in years past you made a bad impression… Here are some don’ts to consider.
- Don’t chew with your mouth open
- Don’t pick your teeth at the table. If something gets stuck in your teeth, excuse yourself and go to the restroom.
- Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
- Don’t reach across the table or across another person to get something. Ask the closest diner to pass it.
- Don’t put your elbows on the table until the meal is finished and all the plates and cutlery are removed.
- Don’t leave your hat on your head, while at the dining table.
For more on this topic see: What Not to Do at the Dining Table. Or to add a little formality to your dining experience see: eBook Formal Dining for Informal People.
How to Hold Your Red Wine Glass
Wine is still as popular as ever and personally one of my favourite social beverages. However, knowing how to hold the wine glass properly has recently become a bit confusing. It used to be a rule that a red wine glass was held by the bowl of the glass. This was done because red wine is meant to be served at room temperature and the warmth of your hand would bring out the best in the wine. Lately though, we are seeing a shift to holding the glass by the stem.
So why is this? I have actually heard two reasons for this:
- Wine was invented before homes had central heating. Then, room temperature was much cooler than it is today. So because of this, today, when we hold the glass by the bowl, we were actually warming the wine too much, taking away from wine rather than bringing out its best.
- The second reason that I have heard, is that when we hold the wine glass by the bowl we leave our finger prints. The glass no longer looks pretty or clean.
So how should we hold our red wine glass? I tell my clients to hold the red wine glass by the stem unless the wine has been served too cold. This will make you appear modern and educated about wine. However, when drinking white wine always hold the glass by the stem.
Email Etiquette
Even though email can be a real time saver, it is still a form of written correspondence. Business emails should be written with the same formality and etiquette as a business letter.
- State the subject in the “subject” box.
- Start with a salutation like Dear… or Hello… or Greetings…
- Emails should be brief and to the point.
- Don’t send sensitive information by email. Accidents do occasionally happen.
- It’s easy to whip off a quick email, but remember to pay attention to spelling and grammar so that you are clearly understood.
- Do not use all capital letters in an e-mail message: it comes across as shouting.
- If you are sending an email to a group, and the individuals do not need to know who else is receiving the e-mail, use the “blind copy” box to type the email addresses. This prevents people’s e-mail addresses from being sent to others.
- Your e-mail signature should include: your name, title, company name, company telephone number, your direct line and fax number.
- When e-mailing different time zones, be clear about dates and times.
- Address people as Mr. or Ms. unless they specify a different title in their signature.
- Respond to e-mails in a timely manner. Either right away or, if it will take longer to obtain information, within 48 hours reply that it will take longer to get the required information.
- Business email addresses should come across professional and reflect your industry and position.
- Be respectful of other people’s time; do not send junk-mail, chain letters or jokes.
Personal emails can be more flexible in format and content although etiquette is still important. Remember to use your manners like you would in a verbal conversation. Things like please and thank you can make a big difference in an e-mail. No matter what the topic, always be considerate of the person you are writing to. Also, remember that emails sometimes end up in the wrong inbox and are unintentionally read by the wrong person. Don’t include content you might regret someone else reading. Manners matter, no matter what that format – verbal, hand-written or electronically.
Texting and BlackBerry Etiquette – Kimberly Law
About a year ago three teenage cousins were invited by their grandparents to go out for dinner and then to a play. They all seemed excited about the activity until they arrived at the restaurant. After they arrived, two of the three girls received text messages. Instead of shutting off their cell phones and enjoying the company of their grandparents and each other, they started text messaging their friends and each other. This left the grandparents and the third cousin sitting there feeling left out, annoyed and uncomfortable. At the theatre they continued text messaging throughout the play. Each time a text was received the phone would vibrate and the light came on, annoying the people around them. It was also embarrassing and insulting to the grandparents.
Unfortunately this is a commons story and it happens often. When it comes to cell phones and text messaging we often forget our manners and etiquette. We don’t consider how the people around us might feel. Think about the last time you were kept waiting while somone you were with had an non-important texting conversation.
Some people think that portable devices such as BlackBerry’s used for texting, emailing and planning your day follow different rules of etiquette then should be followed for chatting on a cell telephone. I think that most would agree they are generally less annoying then being forced to listen in on a cell phone conversation just because you happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. However, just because they are more private and less disruptive then cell phones it, doesn’t mean you should use them at anytime. Checking and responding to e-mail, text messaging or planning your day on a portable device during these times is just plain rude!
- During a meeting, public event, lecture or in a classroom.
- Restaurants. (Unless you are alone)
- Places of worship, weddings & funerals.
- In someone else’s home or office.
- While socialising with others face-to-face.
When using any kind of electronic conversational device for texting, emailing or talking, consider the people around you and on the other end of the conversation.
TECHNOLOGY VS CIVILITY – BY KIMBERLY LAW AICI CIP
In the Toronto Sun today there is an article called Rules of dumb, has our high-tech evolution resulted in a lower standard of etiquette? It mentions a situation where a teacher took a cell phone away from a student and then read all of her saved text messages in front of the class. Obviously he did this out of frustration over the perceived lack of respect. However, were his actions more respectful? He obviously embarrassed the student.
Catherine Bell of Prime Impressions shares some great comments in this article on cell phones and technology from an etiquette perspective. When asked if the rules have changed, she says that the rules haven’t changed, but that people’s perceptions of them have changed and that is just as important. “The whole idea of civility and respect is wanting in all environments,” she says. “They’re throwing out the window the consideration for the people around them.”
So I guess the question is, whether consideration for the people around us is still important. Or has society evolved to a place where taking other people into consideration by using manners and etiquette is no longer important? And if so will this lead to a continuation of civilization as we know it or will it lead to chaos?
Catherine Bell of Prime Impressions shares some great comments in this article on cell phones and technology from an etiquette perspective. When asked if the rules have changed, she says that the rules haven’t changed, but that people’s perceptions of them have changed and that is just as important. “The whole idea of civility and respect is wanting in all environments,” she says. “They’re throwing out the window the consideration for the people around them.”
So I guess the question is, whether consideration for the people around us is still important. Or has society evolved to a place where taking other people into consideration by using manners and etiquette is no longer important? And if so will this lead to a continuation of civilization as we know it or will it lead to chaos?
From my perspective as a certified image consultant and etiquette expert, it would seem that a society lacking in civility would be taking a step backward. Civility evolved over time to create order and respect in the lives of others and ours. However, lately I have seen examples of incivility everywhere. It is my personal belief that we need to get back to basics and consider before hand how our actions might affect others. Then act appropriately.
